Is your best friend making your life miserable?

Probably so, and chances are...

If you are visiting this site you didn't land here by accident. You’re most likely having some issues with an unhealthy/toxic friendship and you're just looking for some answers. Although this site does not attempt to answer all of the questions you may have about an unhealthy friendship; it does offer some helpful information and much needed confirmation that you are not alone in your struggles to deal with a toxic friendship.

This site is for anyone involved a toxic friendship and/or for those who are not but want to learn more about them. You will find very little or nothing at all that speaks about the positive aspects of friendship. There are other sites for that. This is not meant to be a negative site, however; it is one that speaks the truth about toxic friendships and how they impact the lives of those who fall victim to such...

Hopefully after leaving this site you will be well informed, encouraged, and inspired to take authority over your toxic friendship. Dealing with a toxic friend can be frustrating and even depressing at times but keep this in mind....

You have the power to change the fate of your toxic friendship even if it means removing it from your life...

There is life after a toxic friendship...

 So what exactly is a toxic friendship?

I guess that all depends on who you ask because what’s toxic to one individual may not be considered toxic by someone else. It’s all very personal. But in general, toxic friendships are unhealthy relationships that are unfulfilling, unrewarding, and often unequal in one way or another. A toxic friendship can really stress you out and cause you to question your own sanity at times.

A toxic friendship can really wear you down physically and mentally. Yet, many of us keep toxic friends in our lives for whatever reasons. We often have a love/hate relationship with them. We put up with all the negativity that they have to dish out over and over again. We complain to ourselves, other friends, relatives, and whoever else will listen to us gripe about how our toxic friends do this and that to us. But then once they apologize to us about their bad behavior or ill-treatment, we fall right back into their lines of fire.

And in many cases, what do we do about it? Absolutely nothing and doing nothing becomes a bigger problem than the toxic friendship itself because many of us are afraid to reveal the truth to our toxic friends. We are afraid to tell them that their behavior causes us to feel sadness, anger, stress, anxiety, etc.  So as a result, our negative feelings and emotions toward that friend continue to build up and before long we find ourselves exhibiting the same negative characteristics of our toxic friend; thus becoming "toxic by association". We become the great pretenders (the phonies) and act as if nothing is wrong, hoping our friend will "change" or "get it together". Which in most instances they won't because they don't know how to or they just don't want to.

Then there are those of us who find ways to let our toxic friends know exactly how their behavior makes us feel, but unfortunately; each and every time we mention it to them; they seem to develop a hearing problem and/or lose some of their intellectual capacity. Or better yet, they try to turn the tables on you and convince you that you're the one with the problem or that you’re too sensitive or you're just overreacting. Either way, if your friend turns on a deaf ear when you try to tell her that you're tired of her ill-treatment of you, you should probably start asking yourself some very tough questions, such as…

• How do I feel after spending time with my friend?

• Is there reciprocity in the friendship?

• Is there truth and honesty in my friendship?

• Does my friend respect me?

• Is my friend loyal to me?

• Can I freely express my true feelings about the friendship?

• Does my friend criticize or belittle me?

• Does my friend abuse the friendship and take advantage of me?

The list of questions can go on and on but if the answers

are mostly negative, you might want to re-evaluate your friendship.

Because...

Friendship is a choice!

You don't have to remain in a toxic friendship if you don't want to!

Friendship is truly a wonderful thing, but it is not a marriage. There is no legal

document that says you must remain friends with someone who is not treating you the way you deserve to be treated as a friend. Ending a close friendship is not an easy thing to do but sometimes it is the wise thing to do. If you cannot find reasonable ways of dealing/coping with your toxic friendship, remaining in the relationship could do more harm than good!

We have all heard the many reports of how important it has to have friends in our lives. We know that positive friendships can increase the longevity of life. Healthy friendships can enhance our lives in so many different ways and the friendship bond of women is almost inexplicable.

Reporting the positive aspects of friendships is a valuable thing to our society but what's missing in all those reports are the facts about the other side of friendship, the toxic/unhealthy, ugly side. Unhealthy friendships can do all the opposite things that a healthy friendship can do. For instance, toxic friendships can cause a lot of stress and anxiety and we all know the physical ramifications of excessive stress in our lives, right? Just as healthy friendships can bring forth a lot of joy and happiness, toxic ones can bring forth a lot of emotional hurt, pain, and sadness.

Now...if we know all of that (and some of us do)?

Why do we hold on to the myth and fantasy?

That we are supposed to be...

BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!

Everyone has their reasons for holding on to a toxic friendship...

"We've been friends for such a long time"

"What will I do without her?"

"I can't deal with the emotional pain of ending it"

"What will people think of me?"

"She's trying to change her behavior"

"I don't want to be alone"

"Because we do everything together"

"We have so much in common"

"Because we're just like sisters"

"We've been through all kinds of stuff together"

"She's my walking buddy"

"I don’t deserve a healthy friendship"

"Because she's the one I can..."

And again, the list goes on and on!

Yes, we continue to hold on to our toxic friends,

Because it's so hard to let go, 

But at some point (that point is different for us all)...

We must ask ourselves another tough question...

Is this toxic friendship really worth holding on to?

Don't allow yourself to be victimized by the subtle manipulation of a toxic "best/close"friend...